We still hear the echoes of the lie that singleness is a less-than kind of position, that you are incomplete, or that you are lacking. We feel the pressure to “find your mate” and to “find the one who will complete you.” We believe that if we just find that one right guy or gal, then we will feel whole. And even worse, that when you are married and you don’t find that satisfaction, it must mean that you chose wrong and that there is a “soul mate” out there waiting for you to find them.  

But under these statements are the lie that we need other people to make us complete. See here is the thing… I used to think that once I was married, I would feel more complete. But guess what, I woke up the morning after I was married and although I was ecstatic about being Jesse’s wife, there was still a place inside me that felt like it was lacking. Throughout our marriage, I have made the mistake of thinking that it was Jesse’s job to fill that space. And he can’t... not ever.  

And the sad thing is all the time I spent chasing after a relationship with a person, I wasn’t chasing after a relationship with Christ. I was distracted by this thing that I thought I needed. I was sucked into the lie of believing if I could just find that one right person, all the world would be set right. So, I chased, and I searched, hoping the right someone was waiting around the bend. 

All the while, Jesus was standing right next to me, arms outstretched- the One who could actually fill the longing in my heart. He was there all along, but I was looking elsewhere. The answer I was so desperately longing for was beside me all along. He was patient and long-suffering, gently wooing and calling me to come to Him. But I was too distracted to notice. 

It wasn’t until I realized that my marriage, my kids, my job, my position…. none of it could fill that longing in my heart. All those things and people were very little gods that I was unintentionally bowing down to every day wondering why the object of my worship failed me on a regular basis. And all the while I was distracted and pulled away from the true God who loved me fully and could fill me to overflowing! 

Don’t hear me wrong. I love being married! I am married to my very best friend. But as I have learned to make the shift from focusing on my marriage to fulfill me and define me, and shifted that weight wholly to God, He has taken my marriage and used it as a tool in His hand to make me more into the person I was always meant to be. He has taken my marriage off the pedestal of my life and turned it into the God-given blessing it was always meant to be. 

And what that means is, my happiness, my wholeness, and my satisfaction do not rest on my marriage. They rest on the God who owns my marriage. They rest on the One who can fill me whether I am married, single, or a widow. They rest on the only thing that is enough- Jesus Christ.  

So, wherever you find yourself today– married, single, or a widow– rest in the perfect completion of the One who loves you more than you can imagine. He is the one your soul has been longing for. He is your soul mate! No person on this earth could ever be enough to hold that title. So let Jesus be your soul mate and find the rest and satisfaction that comes in turning your life’s focus 100% on Him and Him alone.